finally things are moving forward

Salam Alaikum

A couple of weeks ago we had another hiccup with the school. They tried to exclude my son from a school trip to a farm :( I was nothing less than furious, to be honest, because the boy LOVES animals! We've been there so many times before and he has always been good as gold! But even when I told his teacher this, she brushed me off, saying she'd think about it..
I then decided to take matters in my own hand and finally went to Parents Partnership. I've heard alot of good things about them and have had them recommended before.. I was a bit apprehensive at first, but MashaAllah within a few minutes, I realised I had made the right decision. I was informed that the school was in the wrong here and in fact, Ayoub is obliged to fulll time education! And if they can't provide that for him, then they need to arrange support for him or use other means so he can access education! So they wrote a letter, on my behalf, to the director of Education, requesting a SEN statement for my son. Something I had no idea I could actually do myself! SubhanAllah over the last 8 months I've been fighting for him, begging the school to help me, yet they kept this from me! it just goes to show how little support they've given me!
After my meeting with Parents Partnership, I felt like i had gotten a confidence boost and started pressing on the school to take Ayoub with them on the trip and Alhamdulillah he was allowed to go in the end! And guess what??? He was an absolute star!! MashaAllah!
In July the whole school will be going to the Zoo, let's see what stunt they'll come up with then!

With regards to the diagnosis, I feel we're moving closer to the finish line InshaAllah! He has just been assessed by CIT and InshaAllah they should be sending out a report this week
The school has finally sent out the referral to an educational psychologist and behavior support team, which will InshaAllah help him at school aswell
We've also got another Paediatric appointment on 11th of June and because he has been assessed by all the people she had requested, I'm hoping there will be a diagnosis there, InshaAllah!

Wrt moving, I've decided to stay down here until things settle down a bit InshaAllah. Trying to get everything in place, wrt school, home, family etc etc so when we move, it will be a completely new start for us and InshaAllah everything will be much smoother, as we will have all the support etc in place already

Future plans

Salam Alaikum

Well for the past few years I've been thinking of getting a degree of some sort. I've explored many options out there but not really gotten hooked on any, beside interior design (my ultimate passion) and psychology.
I've now decided to go for psychology which not only can help me understand and help my son better, but Also to bring awareness about mental health to the Muslim community, especially in the middle east, where it's still such a taboo, SubhanAllah!
I know it all might sound too ambitious, but InshaAllah I want to move to the middle east at some point and InshaAllah that way get things moving.. I've done a bit of research on Kuwait and appearantly there is hardly any help there for those who need it, and when they do get help they get shunned by society, SubhanAllah!
Anyway that's going to be my goal for now and InshaAllah the interior design can become a reality one day by getting on the property ladder and do houses up, as a hobby Ofcourse :)

Does anyone reading this have a degree in psychology? Perhaps you can give me some ideas of what to expect from the course?

BarakAllahu feeki x

another update!

Salam Alaikum

Wow I can't believe it has been over 4 months since I updated here! InshaAllah it won't be that long again.

Alot of things have changed, twisted and turned in these past few months, SubhanAllah. I've been working intensely with Ayoub's behavior since the start of January and we have seen quite a remarkable change MashaAllah, both at home and at school! And the week before half term in February, he had his first few days WITHOUT time-outs! SubhanAllah it was going so well, then he got the flu a week after the half term and we got back to square one! Although he got really bad after the flu, he has recovered from it fairly quickly, compared to what he used to Alhamdulillah
He still has his aggressive and screaming outbursts, but they seem far less intense now Alhamdulillah

So where am I with the diagnosis? well I saw the psychologist twice in January, where we got more into dept with Ayoub's behavior, she said she'd go to the school to make an assessment and put the school in its place and get the help for Ayoub, he needed. She told me to call the Paediatrician to see how far on the waiting list he was and if he was going to get seen soon.. So I did and to my surprise he was already booked in 2 weeks later (06.02.12) MashaAllah!
 She then said she'd get the assessment done before i went there, so i had some material to support my claims and she booked an appointment with the school the following week (31.01.12), but when the day came, i was informed by the school, that she was sick and therefore had postponed the assessment, Khair InshaAllah, but i have to say i was disappointed that her office hadn't informed be prior to meeting up at school..
Funnily enough the school only referred Ayoub to CIT (communication interaction team) the same day the psychologist booked her appointment to make the assessment, just goes to show how little they are doing for me..
I also asked to school for a school report or a supporting letter to support my claim and they promised they would do it, i even asked them on a a daily basis the week before i had the appointment with the Paediatrican, however on the friday before the appointment, the SENCO turned around and said they wouldn't do it and would never promise such a thing, if the Paediatrican wanted any information about my son, they could contact them directly SubhanAllah! i was in shock and almost in tears! this was a crucial document for the appointment, as the Paediatrican could get an insight to how he was at school, his needs etc and hopefully give a diagnosis!
Then the day arrived.. I was praying that she would understand my situation and decided to be 100% honest about everything I've had to go through in this process. She was shocked and disgusted by the treatment of the school and lack of communication between all parties, she also informed me that the school should have provided him a one to one support from the first week and they should have had the educational psychologist and CIT involved straight away.. She then did a short assessment on ayoub and then said that there are alot of things that aren't normal, but then again alot that are. And due to the lack of reports/documents, she wasn't able to give a diagnosis just there and then. She also said she'd get hold of everyone (speech therapist, psychologist, school, CIT) and get them all to report back to her and she would encourage them all to work with me, not against me, to communicate better with me and so on. And then she would send me another appointment in 4 months time (apparently that's how long it takes, SubhanAllah)
I left the CDC (children's development center) with a mixed feeling.. Relieved that someone is finally working on my behalf, but a bit discouraged due to the lengthy wait, Khair InshaAllah..
I had expected to hear from the psychologist shortly after, but that didn't happen.. I then sent her a text on the 02.03.12, asking when she was going to do the assessment, got a reply on the 12.03.12 that she was doing the assessment that afternoon and would call me as soon as she came back to the office.
When she called, she told me that she thought i was right, he might actually be high funtional autistic, in other words Aspergers and possibly ADHD aswell. Oh i can't tell you how relieved i was! SubhanAllah it was like i felt a ton lighter! But ofcourse she couldn't give an official diagnosis, so she told me some pointers to bring up at the next Paediatric appointment, she said she'd sent in her report, told me to get hold of the other reports (school and speech therapy) and said that as soon as CIT has made their assessment, then we're ready for the diagnosis to be made
So now it's all a waiting game, I've got an appointment with the SENCO when kids go back to school and then I'm gonna call CIT and try to push the assessment forward InshaAllah. I need this sorted before Ayoub starts in year 1, as he's clearly not coping now, so I expect it to be much worse next academic year, SubhanAllah and the school refuses to give him a one to one without a statement, yet there are other kids at the school who don't have a statement, but do get all the support they need.. Again just goes to show their unwillingness to cooperate!

I've also used these months to do a thorough research both on autism and where i can get the resources and help i need, with or without a diagnosis. Hence the reason why I've withdrawn myself from all social networking amongst other things.
I found that Harrow in London has the best service available for my whole family, Ayoub can get the help he needs and my girls can get a great academic education aswell as majority of the schools there are great MashaAllah. There are groups, therapies, events etc available and set up by NAS (national autistic society), CAHMS and parents like myself, so my plan is to move there ASAP.. I was going to move on the 1st of April, but the psychologist told me to wait until the diagnosis was in place, as there might be a set back in the process and instead of getting the diagnosis in a couple of months, i would look at getting it by the end of the year or early next year, so obviously I've decided to wait until the diagnosis is in place and InshaAllah move ASAP afterwards

So far so good, I will try to post here on a regular basis InshaAllah, my apologies for the disappearing act, but it hasn't been without reasons and Jazak Allahu Khairan for all your support x

long time no see

Salam Alaikum

Ok it has been a while since I updated here, i guess so much was going on that i withdrew myself for a bit.

To make a long story short, we had a child psychologist around 2 weeks ago. After our first assessment, she definitely could see that everything isn't as it should be and will be referring us to a clinical doctor at the childrens development hospital, aswell as observe Ayoub at school. It was a really emotional assessment as i had to dig into some deep scars, which I've done all I could to forget about, Khair InshaAllah, as long as it might help my son and at the end of the day what doesn't break you makes you stronger. It was the first time I had spoken about that period of my life with anyone and being brutally honest and I do think it was actually a relief to actually set words on it. I've definitely gotten my fighting spirit back Alhamdulillah.
A few days later, the speech therapist called to talk about her previous report.. As you can read in my previous post she had an action sheet set up, but now she was withdrawing it. She turn around and said that she didn't think there was anything wrong with my son, he might have a very mild version of ADHD, but definitely nothing else.. I was shocked and informed her about the psychologist and that she also said things weren't right. Then she said "oh well, I can speak to her and we can carry on with the assessments, just to put your mind at rest".. OMG I was speechless! how could she say that?? I decided to end the call there and then, as I knew I would say something I might regret..
In the meantime Ayoub has been quite on and off.. the first week after half term was great but then it has just gone down hill, SubhanAllah..
 On thursday he had the biggest outburst to date, when I took them to school and usually he calms down as we reach the gate, but not this time... He carried on screaming as he went to the classroom and I was standing in the playground for about 15-20 mins afterwards, listening to him. I wanted to go in there but the teachers told me not to, as he could do this every morning then.. I went home and tried to get some housework done and when I picked him up at lunch time I got the biggest shock of all. I was met by his teacher, saying he had has the worst morning to date. He had spent majority of the morning in time out, as he was throwing everything, he could get his hands on, around the classroom, pushing and slapping the other children and when he was in time out, he attacked the teacher. He kept pulling her blouse and then scratched her hand quite badly, she showed me the hand and it was covered in scars SubhanAllah
I honestly don't know what to do! I'm thinking of calling the psychologist tomorrow, to see if she has some sort of solution and I'm thinking of keeping him at home for the last couple of weeks, before christmas holidays, if he doesn't improve. Also being on my own and nowhere to turn at the moment, I guess that makes it even harder :(

letter from speech therapist

Salam Alaikum

I've just had the letter from my son's speech and language therapist. She has booked him in for another 6 appointments, which will be once a week at the school until 6th of December.
She wrote that his speech and understanding is a high average, but social and interaction came in on low (which in knew anyway)..
She has sent a letter to the GP asking for a referral to paediatrician (which i've already have sorted)
Another letter to the school to provide a Teaching Assistant to run a social skills group for him and to send a referral to communication and interaction team and the behaviour support team.
The nursery he was at before the summer holiday has already been in contact with communication and interaction team and they will have a look at him this week InshaAllah, as they're going to his school anyway.
So Alhamdulillah things are finally going somewhere!

1st day at school

Salam Alaikum

Today is the first day back at school and we also had the biggest tantrum ever! I knew it and was prepared for it.. Ayoub screamed from he got his uniform on until we reached the school.. Outside the school gate he told me he was scared to go to school and when I asked him why he said it was too loud, too noisy :( It makes me wonder how exactly these sensory issues are affecting him? like when he hears an unbearable noise, then what is it that is so unbearable? what does it do to him? Ofcourse he's too young to explain or even put words on it, but I really want to understand what he goes through, InshaAllah one day!
He has a full day today and honestly i'm dreading it! I know how he'll be like when he comes back.. he'll kick off from I pick him up until bedtime and nothing will be good enough for him..
I guess I need to get as much as possible done today, incl have dinner ready for him, so at least we won't have that side of things in the way..

the end of half term

Salam Alaikum

I've been missing in action for for some time now.. Kids were off for half term and will be going back tomorrow InshaAllah, so that has kept me busy during the day and I've recently taking up knitting! lol! I haven't knitted since i was a child and I've never made any major projects, the biggest i made back then was suppose to be a pair of socks, but i only finished the one sock hahaha!

So now you know, I'm far from a pro, but these are my starting projects, just to get into it before starting something bigger...

I've made 3 of these bags and made the handles myself

Then I made these to match the kids school uniform... I made 2 headbands and one hat, these items i'm actually quite pleased with