finally things are moving forward

Salam Alaikum

A couple of weeks ago we had another hiccup with the school. They tried to exclude my son from a school trip to a farm :( I was nothing less than furious, to be honest, because the boy LOVES animals! We've been there so many times before and he has always been good as gold! But even when I told his teacher this, she brushed me off, saying she'd think about it..
I then decided to take matters in my own hand and finally went to Parents Partnership. I've heard alot of good things about them and have had them recommended before.. I was a bit apprehensive at first, but MashaAllah within a few minutes, I realised I had made the right decision. I was informed that the school was in the wrong here and in fact, Ayoub is obliged to fulll time education! And if they can't provide that for him, then they need to arrange support for him or use other means so he can access education! So they wrote a letter, on my behalf, to the director of Education, requesting a SEN statement for my son. Something I had no idea I could actually do myself! SubhanAllah over the last 8 months I've been fighting for him, begging the school to help me, yet they kept this from me! it just goes to show how little support they've given me!
After my meeting with Parents Partnership, I felt like i had gotten a confidence boost and started pressing on the school to take Ayoub with them on the trip and Alhamdulillah he was allowed to go in the end! And guess what??? He was an absolute star!! MashaAllah!
In July the whole school will be going to the Zoo, let's see what stunt they'll come up with then!

With regards to the diagnosis, I feel we're moving closer to the finish line InshaAllah! He has just been assessed by CIT and InshaAllah they should be sending out a report this week
The school has finally sent out the referral to an educational psychologist and behavior support team, which will InshaAllah help him at school aswell
We've also got another Paediatric appointment on 11th of June and because he has been assessed by all the people she had requested, I'm hoping there will be a diagnosis there, InshaAllah!

Wrt moving, I've decided to stay down here until things settle down a bit InshaAllah. Trying to get everything in place, wrt school, home, family etc etc so when we move, it will be a completely new start for us and InshaAllah everything will be much smoother, as we will have all the support etc in place already

Future plans

Salam Alaikum

Well for the past few years I've been thinking of getting a degree of some sort. I've explored many options out there but not really gotten hooked on any, beside interior design (my ultimate passion) and psychology.
I've now decided to go for psychology which not only can help me understand and help my son better, but Also to bring awareness about mental health to the Muslim community, especially in the middle east, where it's still such a taboo, SubhanAllah!
I know it all might sound too ambitious, but InshaAllah I want to move to the middle east at some point and InshaAllah that way get things moving.. I've done a bit of research on Kuwait and appearantly there is hardly any help there for those who need it, and when they do get help they get shunned by society, SubhanAllah!
Anyway that's going to be my goal for now and InshaAllah the interior design can become a reality one day by getting on the property ladder and do houses up, as a hobby Ofcourse :)

Does anyone reading this have a degree in psychology? Perhaps you can give me some ideas of what to expect from the course?

BarakAllahu feeki x

another update!

Salam Alaikum

Wow I can't believe it has been over 4 months since I updated here! InshaAllah it won't be that long again.

Alot of things have changed, twisted and turned in these past few months, SubhanAllah. I've been working intensely with Ayoub's behavior since the start of January and we have seen quite a remarkable change MashaAllah, both at home and at school! And the week before half term in February, he had his first few days WITHOUT time-outs! SubhanAllah it was going so well, then he got the flu a week after the half term and we got back to square one! Although he got really bad after the flu, he has recovered from it fairly quickly, compared to what he used to Alhamdulillah
He still has his aggressive and screaming outbursts, but they seem far less intense now Alhamdulillah

So where am I with the diagnosis? well I saw the psychologist twice in January, where we got more into dept with Ayoub's behavior, she said she'd go to the school to make an assessment and put the school in its place and get the help for Ayoub, he needed. She told me to call the Paediatrician to see how far on the waiting list he was and if he was going to get seen soon.. So I did and to my surprise he was already booked in 2 weeks later (06.02.12) MashaAllah!
 She then said she'd get the assessment done before i went there, so i had some material to support my claims and she booked an appointment with the school the following week (31.01.12), but when the day came, i was informed by the school, that she was sick and therefore had postponed the assessment, Khair InshaAllah, but i have to say i was disappointed that her office hadn't informed be prior to meeting up at school..
Funnily enough the school only referred Ayoub to CIT (communication interaction team) the same day the psychologist booked her appointment to make the assessment, just goes to show how little they are doing for me..
I also asked to school for a school report or a supporting letter to support my claim and they promised they would do it, i even asked them on a a daily basis the week before i had the appointment with the Paediatrican, however on the friday before the appointment, the SENCO turned around and said they wouldn't do it and would never promise such a thing, if the Paediatrican wanted any information about my son, they could contact them directly SubhanAllah! i was in shock and almost in tears! this was a crucial document for the appointment, as the Paediatrican could get an insight to how he was at school, his needs etc and hopefully give a diagnosis!
Then the day arrived.. I was praying that she would understand my situation and decided to be 100% honest about everything I've had to go through in this process. She was shocked and disgusted by the treatment of the school and lack of communication between all parties, she also informed me that the school should have provided him a one to one support from the first week and they should have had the educational psychologist and CIT involved straight away.. She then did a short assessment on ayoub and then said that there are alot of things that aren't normal, but then again alot that are. And due to the lack of reports/documents, she wasn't able to give a diagnosis just there and then. She also said she'd get hold of everyone (speech therapist, psychologist, school, CIT) and get them all to report back to her and she would encourage them all to work with me, not against me, to communicate better with me and so on. And then she would send me another appointment in 4 months time (apparently that's how long it takes, SubhanAllah)
I left the CDC (children's development center) with a mixed feeling.. Relieved that someone is finally working on my behalf, but a bit discouraged due to the lengthy wait, Khair InshaAllah..
I had expected to hear from the psychologist shortly after, but that didn't happen.. I then sent her a text on the 02.03.12, asking when she was going to do the assessment, got a reply on the 12.03.12 that she was doing the assessment that afternoon and would call me as soon as she came back to the office.
When she called, she told me that she thought i was right, he might actually be high funtional autistic, in other words Aspergers and possibly ADHD aswell. Oh i can't tell you how relieved i was! SubhanAllah it was like i felt a ton lighter! But ofcourse she couldn't give an official diagnosis, so she told me some pointers to bring up at the next Paediatric appointment, she said she'd sent in her report, told me to get hold of the other reports (school and speech therapy) and said that as soon as CIT has made their assessment, then we're ready for the diagnosis to be made
So now it's all a waiting game, I've got an appointment with the SENCO when kids go back to school and then I'm gonna call CIT and try to push the assessment forward InshaAllah. I need this sorted before Ayoub starts in year 1, as he's clearly not coping now, so I expect it to be much worse next academic year, SubhanAllah and the school refuses to give him a one to one without a statement, yet there are other kids at the school who don't have a statement, but do get all the support they need.. Again just goes to show their unwillingness to cooperate!

I've also used these months to do a thorough research both on autism and where i can get the resources and help i need, with or without a diagnosis. Hence the reason why I've withdrawn myself from all social networking amongst other things.
I found that Harrow in London has the best service available for my whole family, Ayoub can get the help he needs and my girls can get a great academic education aswell as majority of the schools there are great MashaAllah. There are groups, therapies, events etc available and set up by NAS (national autistic society), CAHMS and parents like myself, so my plan is to move there ASAP.. I was going to move on the 1st of April, but the psychologist told me to wait until the diagnosis was in place, as there might be a set back in the process and instead of getting the diagnosis in a couple of months, i would look at getting it by the end of the year or early next year, so obviously I've decided to wait until the diagnosis is in place and InshaAllah move ASAP afterwards

So far so good, I will try to post here on a regular basis InshaAllah, my apologies for the disappearing act, but it hasn't been without reasons and Jazak Allahu Khairan for all your support x