my poor little man

Salam Alaikum

As I've mentioned previously, there are concerns about my son being autistic. He has had such a hard time at school, which is so upsetting. He's not settling in at all and unfortunately i don't think the teachers are making enough effort with him either. Knowing my son, with a little care and encouragement, he can adapt, however it seems to me, that the teachers have already given up and are basically leaving him to do what he does.
It has gone from bad to worse to be honest. At first he was being really upset and would burst out crying as soon as he saw me when i picked him up. Then it turned into violence towards his sisters, especially the youngest one, then to having accidents, doing both number 1 and 2 in his trousers and now he's on a hunger strike! SubhanAllah he's refusing to eat, he won't touch his lunch at school, which obviously makes things alot worse as he's starving and tired when he's finished at school, aswell as kicking off for about an hour before home time..
I've spoken to the teacher to see if they can speed up the process so we can get him diagnosed and SubhanAllah they've not sent of the referral yet! she approached me on Ayoub's 3rd day at school that it would be done and we're now in week 4! I'm really upset to be honest, it's taking way too long and she said after the referral has been sent off, then it'll take several weeks to get an appointment! Uff it's hard work! I'm trying to get hold of his speech therapist, to check up on his progress there and then try to get hold of our GP to see if they might be able to speed up the process.. My little man needs help and support and the only way he can get that, is if he gets diagnosed, so InshaAllah it'll go a bit quicker! I don't know how much more I can take, if things don't improve..


May Allah make it speed up for your son to be referred. Also I suggest you book a meeting with his teacher and the head mistress and voice your concerns and maybe suggest that the teacher aren't engaging with him according to his needs and that it is their job to engage with all children regardless of abilities or disabilities. You shouldn't not need to wait for a referral or diagnosis before you receive nay help because there are enough teachers, mentors, learning and classroom assistants in schools to offer your son and everyone else who needs a little more time. They are all qualified so they need to do their job. This post has upset me and it isn't even my son so I can only imagine how you feel. I used to be classroom assistant and my husband is a teacher in a secondary school and your son's teacher's aren't doing their job.Hie things sort out quick for you all.


Jazak Allahu Khairan habibti. Yeah it's really hard at the moment. The teachers have thrown in the towel before even trying, SubhanAllah.. I've voiced my concerns to the teacher about him not eating his lunch aswell as the other issues, but without results.. yesterday she suggested he should come in on a part time basis instead of fulltime. That to me just goes to show that they won't do much for him.. I've agreed to take him home twice a week at lunch time, to see if that will make a difference. But at the end of the day, they need to be willing to work with him, yes he needs extra help on many level, but if he's approached with care and support, he'll do so well, i know he would.
I will take up on your advice and get the headteacher involved, INshaAllah it will help.
It's not fair on him and if he feels rejected by the teacher, then I completely understand why he is behaving the way he is, SubhanAllah


I've been following your blog, please follow back to my blog ^_^

Andy Online


salaam alaikum!

Sorry if my questions have already been answered,im new so trying to catch up =)
How old is your son? Is there a school social worker? If so, has he/she been notified by the teachers to evaluate him so they can make a referral? Im originally from the US (now living in spain) so im not entirely sure how things work in the UK. Have you tried changing your sons diet? Ive read that eliminating gluten can help tremendously. A lot of children who are diagnosed as autistic do change their childs diet to a gluten free diet and see improvements in their childs behavior etc.
InshaAllah you will get the referral soon!
Take care,


Wa Alaikum Salam si!

no worries :D He's 4 years old. The school is involved and he's seeing a speech and language therapist at the moment.
Wrt the diet... now that's a very tricky thing.. He's a very fussy eater due to his sensory issues. There are alot of food he won't touch due to the look (which he says is scary) and texture (the feel of it in his hand or/and mouth)
like the only fruit he will touch and eat is banana, but it must not be bruised and has to be broken into 2 pieces.
vegetables he won't eat, however i do blend them into the sauce or mash them and then mix it with the rice.. the mash only goes if i feed him and he doesn't inspect the food... He'll eat chicken and lamb, but won't eat mince or fish (except tuna)
pasta he'll only eat with tuna
he loves bread, but again no other filling than soft cheese and honey.
If I serve anything else, he'll refuse to eat and believe me he'll go on hunger strike if he doesn't like the food.
So you see, it's really hard work... If i make a dish he won't eat, then I'll cook something i know he'll eat aswell.. There is always vegetables and/or salads at dinner time, and various fresh fruit available in between.. so it's not because he hasn't been introduced to them :)


4 year kids don't let themselves starve to death.Just stop giving him so much attention around meal time.Present the food, if he doesn't eat remove the plate.Next meal do the same, he will eventually eat, but if you try to pressure him or coax him,he will continue the behaviour that brings him attention.


marie, this isn't about attention seeking...


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