long time no see

Salam Alaikum

Ok it has been a while since I updated here, i guess so much was going on that i withdrew myself for a bit.

To make a long story short, we had a child psychologist around 2 weeks ago. After our first assessment, she definitely could see that everything isn't as it should be and will be referring us to a clinical doctor at the childrens development hospital, aswell as observe Ayoub at school. It was a really emotional assessment as i had to dig into some deep scars, which I've done all I could to forget about, Khair InshaAllah, as long as it might help my son and at the end of the day what doesn't break you makes you stronger. It was the first time I had spoken about that period of my life with anyone and being brutally honest and I do think it was actually a relief to actually set words on it. I've definitely gotten my fighting spirit back Alhamdulillah.
A few days later, the speech therapist called to talk about her previous report.. As you can read in my previous post she had an action sheet set up, but now she was withdrawing it. She turn around and said that she didn't think there was anything wrong with my son, he might have a very mild version of ADHD, but definitely nothing else.. I was shocked and informed her about the psychologist and that she also said things weren't right. Then she said "oh well, I can speak to her and we can carry on with the assessments, just to put your mind at rest".. OMG I was speechless! how could she say that?? I decided to end the call there and then, as I knew I would say something I might regret..
In the meantime Ayoub has been quite on and off.. the first week after half term was great but then it has just gone down hill, SubhanAllah..
 On thursday he had the biggest outburst to date, when I took them to school and usually he calms down as we reach the gate, but not this time... He carried on screaming as he went to the classroom and I was standing in the playground for about 15-20 mins afterwards, listening to him. I wanted to go in there but the teachers told me not to, as he could do this every morning then.. I went home and tried to get some housework done and when I picked him up at lunch time I got the biggest shock of all. I was met by his teacher, saying he had has the worst morning to date. He had spent majority of the morning in time out, as he was throwing everything, he could get his hands on, around the classroom, pushing and slapping the other children and when he was in time out, he attacked the teacher. He kept pulling her blouse and then scratched her hand quite badly, she showed me the hand and it was covered in scars SubhanAllah
I honestly don't know what to do! I'm thinking of calling the psychologist tomorrow, to see if she has some sort of solution and I'm thinking of keeping him at home for the last couple of weeks, before christmas holidays, if he doesn't improve. Also being on my own and nowhere to turn at the moment, I guess that makes it even harder :(

letter from speech therapist

Salam Alaikum

I've just had the letter from my son's speech and language therapist. She has booked him in for another 6 appointments, which will be once a week at the school until 6th of December.
She wrote that his speech and understanding is a high average, but social and interaction came in on low (which in knew anyway)..
She has sent a letter to the GP asking for a referral to paediatrician (which i've already have sorted)
Another letter to the school to provide a Teaching Assistant to run a social skills group for him and to send a referral to communication and interaction team and the behaviour support team.
The nursery he was at before the summer holiday has already been in contact with communication and interaction team and they will have a look at him this week InshaAllah, as they're going to his school anyway.
So Alhamdulillah things are finally going somewhere!

1st day at school

Salam Alaikum

Today is the first day back at school and we also had the biggest tantrum ever! I knew it and was prepared for it.. Ayoub screamed from he got his uniform on until we reached the school.. Outside the school gate he told me he was scared to go to school and when I asked him why he said it was too loud, too noisy :( It makes me wonder how exactly these sensory issues are affecting him? like when he hears an unbearable noise, then what is it that is so unbearable? what does it do to him? Ofcourse he's too young to explain or even put words on it, but I really want to understand what he goes through, InshaAllah one day!
He has a full day today and honestly i'm dreading it! I know how he'll be like when he comes back.. he'll kick off from I pick him up until bedtime and nothing will be good enough for him..
I guess I need to get as much as possible done today, incl have dinner ready for him, so at least we won't have that side of things in the way..

the end of half term

Salam Alaikum

I've been missing in action for for some time now.. Kids were off for half term and will be going back tomorrow InshaAllah, so that has kept me busy during the day and I've recently taking up knitting! lol! I haven't knitted since i was a child and I've never made any major projects, the biggest i made back then was suppose to be a pair of socks, but i only finished the one sock hahaha!

So now you know, I'm far from a pro, but these are my starting projects, just to get into it before starting something bigger...

I've made 3 of these bags and made the handles myself

Then I made these to match the kids school uniform... I made 2 headbands and one hat, these items i'm actually quite pleased with

looks like we're getting somewhere!

Salam Alaikum


As previously mentioned I've had some serious issues with Ayoub's current school. Had a meeting with his headteacher on friday and the outcome was not great. Seriously he's the most arrogant and ignorant man I've ever met in my life. Was so rude, cut me off all the time, I don't think I was able to even complete one sentance, he accused me of lying and put words in my mouth, SubhanAllah, I was boiling on the inside and if I had been there any longer I would probably have punched him straight in the face! The PSA, who was with me was also gobsmacked and said she had never met a headteacher like him herself (she has met many of them) and said straight out that the school wasn't for my son.
I've used the weekemd to reflect on what to do next and how to help my son the best way I can.. I decided it would probably be best for me to home school, as he's obviously not happy at school and honestly I just can't handle his outbursts anymore.. So monday I used to ask around about home schooling and yesterday I went to the nursery to see if they we're willing to take him in, or at least let him come to socialise whilst i home school, which they had no problems with at all..
Today I went back to the nursery and had a lengthy chat with the head of the nursery. I was able to go into thorough details with regards to his behaviour and she was shocked to find out how much he has changed since he started school. She agreed with me that he's definitely not the same boy that left the nursery back in July. And she even went so far to say that she had never have thought she'd say it, but she actually thought that a special school might be the best for him, SubhanAllah!
In the afternoon I was able to bring ayoub over there to play, whilst I got hold of the child psychologist who works with that school. She also agreed with me that there was definitely something there.. When I told her I wanted to home school my son, she actually advised me against it, but came up with another solution. She told me to ask his current school to keep his place open, whilst he goes back to nursery, then gradually build up a preparation for school. Then whilst he's in the nursery, i should apply for a transition over to the school where the nursery is. She also told me that if I was able to do that, then the nursery would be able to make a referral to the communication and interaction team, aswell as cahms (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services).
This is a great result for us, MashaAllah and just goes to show it helps to be pushy at times! our referral to the paediatrician hasn't come through yet, so I'll be calling the GP tomorrow and then InshaAllah I will relax until after half term!!

Domestic Violence Awareness

Salam Alaikum

I've decided to join Harmony in spreading spread awareness of domestic violence through our communities. This happens in every community, regardless your background or beliefs.
I'm not going to write a lot on this issue, but will ask you to look at her site InshaAllah

Aswell as read this story, only one of many

Holding on


Also there is a charity for domestic violence, which is working to break barriers and bring awareness to the minority groups, especially muslims.

national bug busting week!

Salam Alaikum

If there is anything i hate more about parenting, it's the constant nit-picking! Even though I comb their hair on a regular basis, I keep finding more and more!! I usually do the combing on fridays, if i find any I'll put vinegar and olive oil in their hair, leave it in over night and then comb again on saturdays.. I do this on fridays, as the hair becomes quite greasy and needs a couple of washes to get rid of the oil.. You can use washing up liquid to get it out, but I prefer not to do that.
This week however it didn't happen, as my son had the worst tantrums ever, he was screaming and crying uncontrollably until bedtime, so by then I was absolutely shattered and decided to leave it to the next day.. Yesterday I decided to spend the day at the park, so when we came back they had their dinner, their baths and then off to bed...
So this morning i rolled my sleeves up and went to war on the bugs.. SubhanAllah I had never seen so many headlice before! even my son had them! the one who was worst was my 2nd one, there were soooo many of them argh!! So I spent 4 hours on combing hair this morning, there were lots of tears and screams involved aswell, which made me think... There should really be a bug busting week all over the country! where all parents comb their kids hair, every day for a whole week (which is the life cycle of head lice) and then following up by once a week! I'm sure we would see much less of these little buggers!
When my oldest daughter was in year 1, the school did a bug busting week, the children had to tick off boxes for every day the parents had combed their hair, and if they had done all 7 days, then they were able to enter a drawing competition and win a price.. I think this is a great idea and should actually become a national week!

Friday Wisdom!

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

Arnold schwarzenegger

oh what a week!

Salam Alaikum!

Well I can honestly say this has been one heck of a week at my end.. Kids had a non-pupil day on monday, which meant WWIII started!
So Tuesday morning I was actually relieved that all 3 kids we're going to school for a few hours, just so I could reload my battery! As we approached the entrance, my son's teacher comes up to me and says "I've spoken to the SENCO and she has said Ayoub was only going to come in on a part time basis" I was like what?? that wasn't what I had agreed upon when I saw her last time.. I agreed to every other day part time.. Tuesdays and Thursdays.. So said to her that the SENCO must have misunderstood and I left it at that. When Ayoub came home, he was actually happier than he has been over the last 1 1/2 month, so obviously he's coming to terms with going to this school... or so I thought!
Wednesday morning when we came to the school, the SENCO was there and she came up to me and says "he WILL come in on a part time basis!" I was like huh?? I then explained to her that she must have misunderstood what was said and asked her why this change now? "He's not coping at all, he WILL only come in on a part time basis!" I was speechless and all I could say was "Ooook!" and walked off.. I was furious!! But I know if I would have said anything there and then I would have gone absolutely mental! I went home and was just sittiung on the sofa, staring at the wall, whilst I just got more and more angry! So pulled myself together and thought "right, they want a war, they sure as heck are gonna get one!"
I got the little one dressed and headed over to the nursery, where Ayoub was before going to school. I've known them for 4 years by now and they've been very supportive and helpful during these years MashaAllah. I got hold of both the head of the nursery and the PSA (Parent Support Advisor). I told them the whole story and they were gobsmacked. And as I had hoped they were willing to help me out, even though I don't have any kids at their school at the moment. They were actually amazing, MashaAllah.. I've arranged a meeting with the headteacher tomorrow morning and the PSA will be there to support me. If it goes well, then we'll leave it at that, if not then we'll set up a CAF (common assessment framework) which they will be forced to attend. They've also offered to give me one of the nursery staff to come over to Ayoub's school to work as a one 2 one, until he's settled in MashaAllah.. Also they've offered him a place in the nursery until January, where they can do an easy transition over to reception at their school. So by the summer he'll be fully attending reception there. This has it's great benefits as he knows most of the kids there already, because he was at nursery with them. So that's always an option.
Oh and another issue has come up aswell... My son said yesterday that a teacher had slapped him, so I raised my concerns with the head teacher. Not sure if my son was telling the truth or not, but at least it had to be addressed (just in case he'll say it again, then they can't say why haven't u told us before?).. He went up the wall and totally blew it out of proportion! I said to him, it would be good if he could ask the teacher what had happened in the class the previous day, but nooooo... He went on about calling the local authorities and so on! SubhanAllah! Anyway I will bring this up on the meeting tomorrow InshaAllah

A mother I speak to on a regular basis who has an autistic son, told me that her son had been permanently excluded from the school today, SubhanAllah! Appearantly he had attacked the one 2 one (still not clear exactly what had happened).. I find this very upsetting as they've been just as discriminating towards him as my son, just for a much longer period.. I asked my eldest daugther about this boy today, about what had happened as they're in the same class.. she said he had been absolutely fine all day, but appearantly had gotten a red card, which only the teachers knew about (her words).. This makes me think that it's either a set -up or planned.. I know I sound crazy, but honestly the story about this boy is very sad, the school has tried to get rid of him since last year. What I don't understand is how the heck can they get away with it?? and how can they treat an autistic child like this?? Oh the ignorance!! Seems like this school is only good enough if you have normal kids, if you have a SEN child, then out you go! SubhanAllah how can they sleep at night!

Friday Wisdom!

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me... Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful.. that's what matters to me" 

 Steve Jobs

Finally!

Salam Alaikum!

It has been an horrible day today.. My 2 year old has hit the terrible 2's.. She has had such full on tantrums all day, it has been unbearable SubhanAllah.. Add that to a 4 year old, who hates school, which took every possible chance to make me feel it aswell! Uff! Uff! Uff! is all I can say Khair InshaAllah

BUT it's not all negative today. I took my son to the GP to get a referral to a paedriatrician. I was so nervous, as I had been brushed off by my old GP and health visitor. But this woman was just lovely and easy going and just by me telling her a little bit about him, she was happy to make the referral! Alhamdulillah! and because I had obtained a letter from the school regarding their observations, she said i could expect an appointment in the post within 2 weeks! Oh I can't even tell you how relieved I am, that someone FINALLY listen to me, is taking me seriously! And just the fact that doors will start opening now and he'll recieve the support he desperately needs! InshaAllah!

I know there's still quite a way to go, but everything seems just so much brighter now Alhamdulillah!

think, think, think...

Salam Alaikum

Oh I'm soooo tempted to relocate! Living in this navy city, is somewhat depressing to say the least. But there's always the question where to??
I've looked into Birmingham and although I've had my heart set on that city for years, I've realised it's probably not my kind of city... Yes the cost of living is alot cheaper than most of the country, but the quality is also thereafter and to be honest (no offence people) but the areas where muslims are in majority, are filty, rubbish all over the place etc... Not the place you want to raise small children or teens for that matter..
Then there's Leicester, which seems to be a place that many have recommended, I've never been there, so can't say much about it. From what I've seen online, it's alright, but still need do to some more research to see what's available..
and then there's London.. The place got everything you need... But then you also have to pay the price for it.. Although it is tempting..

The thing is it isn't easy to just pack up and go, as I've got 4 children to take into consideration, although I'm sure the girls would settle in straight away, my concerns are my son.. Then it's the crucial issue of finding the right schools and the right area to live, social circles and so on...

So does any of you have any suggestions? Perhaps a place I haven't consider?? But please... I don't want to be the only Muslim in the village and especially not between swillbillies, I've had enough of them lol

another liebster award!

Salam Alaikum


MashaAllah have recieved yet another liebster award! This time from sister Karima, thank you very much, please feel free to visit her site InshaAllah

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers.

The rules are simple:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere - other bloggers.
5. And, best of all - have fun and spread the karma.

Now to re-award it. I have tried to pick blogs I have not given awards to before or are very new. So I award the following blogs: 

The Muslimah Corner

Froggy Hjiabee

Muslim Mummy

Cerebral Tickle

For those who reflect

there are my 5 choices, InshaAllah you'll enjoy their blogs as much as i do

a run-in with the swillbillies

Salam Alaikum!

Take a look at these pictures, a stunning place isn't it?

have you absorbed those picture yet? Well by looking at them you would have thought anyone would have a fantasting time at such a place right?? WRONG! lol!
We took the advantage of the gorgeous weather we had yesterday and went up on the moors. Usually we all have a blast and the kids absolutely love exploring the rivers and the woodland there MashaAllah.
As we arrived we noticed an elderly couple sitting not too far from the spot we had chosen.. They seemed rather odd, lol they had set up a toilet, picnic table and God knows what!
Anyway as we sat down and took our food out, the rest of that family arrived! O...M...G!!! I've never seen anything like it! They were loud and rude! they had a filty dog with them and on purpose let the dog wander over us, I was shocked! Seriously there was absolutely no respect and no intention of removing the dog. I then asked them to move their filty dog as we we're having food and all out and the reply i got was "we have been here all day!" Ehm hello??? since when has public spaces become private property?? LOL they obviously got even more annoyed that we spoke up, so they jumped in the river were the kids were and started to throw rocks around to splash water everywhere... I swear, if it hadn't been for the sister I was with, I would have absolutely kicked off! Because of these swillbillies our kids couldn't even get in the river! I swear I have never seen adults or kids for that matter, behaving in such a way, SubhanAllah, I've seen those kind of people on TV, but never IRL...
Shocking to say the least!

and for those who wonder what i mean about swillbillies... well Americans use hillbillies, which didn't really cover these people... Swillies on the other hand do (just the local word for chavs), so I thought Swillbillies sounded a bit better lol

Friday Wisdom!

Salam Alaikum

When calling towards Allaah, just call with knowledge, leave the guidance in His hands. The Prophet sat out to guide the People of Taif even though they didn't accept, a great nation of Jinn were guided instead. Remember never give up on Da'wah.

MORAL: You might call a group of people for years just to find out people who you didn't even think of listened to you and observed you all this time and because of that they accepted Islaam. Do not be disheartened if you don't see fruits of your labour with regards to da'wah. Success is not about numbers it is about sincerity. 

Abu Thabiit

my poor little man

Salam Alaikum

As I've mentioned previously, there are concerns about my son being autistic. He has had such a hard time at school, which is so upsetting. He's not settling in at all and unfortunately i don't think the teachers are making enough effort with him either. Knowing my son, with a little care and encouragement, he can adapt, however it seems to me, that the teachers have already given up and are basically leaving him to do what he does.
It has gone from bad to worse to be honest. At first he was being really upset and would burst out crying as soon as he saw me when i picked him up. Then it turned into violence towards his sisters, especially the youngest one, then to having accidents, doing both number 1 and 2 in his trousers and now he's on a hunger strike! SubhanAllah he's refusing to eat, he won't touch his lunch at school, which obviously makes things alot worse as he's starving and tired when he's finished at school, aswell as kicking off for about an hour before home time..
I've spoken to the teacher to see if they can speed up the process so we can get him diagnosed and SubhanAllah they've not sent of the referral yet! she approached me on Ayoub's 3rd day at school that it would be done and we're now in week 4! I'm really upset to be honest, it's taking way too long and she said after the referral has been sent off, then it'll take several weeks to get an appointment! Uff it's hard work! I'm trying to get hold of his speech therapist, to check up on his progress there and then try to get hold of our GP to see if they might be able to speed up the process.. My little man needs help and support and the only way he can get that, is if he gets diagnosed, so InshaAllah it'll go a bit quicker! I don't know how much more I can take, if things don't improve..

Something stuck at the end of my nose??

Salam Alaikum

After dropping my kids of at school, I had to do some errands in town. On my way back, I went to Tesco to buy some stuff for dinner, aswell as a smoothie for the little one, who was sitting so quietly in her pushchair.
As we walk home, we came to a traffic light and the cars were stopping for red light.. I noticed that all the drivers and passengers were staring at me! not only staring but turning their heads aswell. Gosh i felt sooo uncomfortable and was wondering if there was something stuck at the end of my nose... After passing all those cars, i stopped just to make sure little princess hadn't poured the smoothie all over her and what do i see??? she's putting her middle finger into the smoothie, then in her mouth and pulling it out in the direction of the cars!! LOL! so that's what they were so grumpy about, a little 2 year old giving them the finger!

Got an award :D

Salam Alaikum!!

Woohoo!! I got a award, MashaAllah, lol had not expected that at all. Thank you so much Muslim Mummy 

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers.

The rules are simple:

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Post the award on your blog.
4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogsphere - other bloggers.
5. And, best of all - have fun and spread the karma.

Now to re-award it. I have tried to pick blogs I have not given awards to before or are very new. So I award the following blogs: 

Blessings through trials

One droplet in an ocean

Misterio Vida

only have those followers who are actively blogging lol, so there you go, enjoy :D

Friday Wisdom!

Salam Alaikum!

right I've decided to join the lovely Foz on her Friday Wisdom challenge, so here we go:

Maalik ibn Deenar said: ‘Indeed The Quran is the life of the heart, just as the rain is to the earth...’ Kitaabu Zuhd of Imam Ahmad: 1880 

Bullying in Schools

Salam Alaikum

If there is anything a parent fears the most, it's the bullying at school and what damage it can do to your child.
When my eldest daugther started in reception, she got bullied to the extend that she completely broke down one evening (I had no clue until that very moment). I got in contact with the teachers and headteacher but not much happened than warnings given to the kids involved. After several attempts to get something done, but without results, i decided to change the school and Alhamdulillah since then everything has been going really well and i've now got 3 kids in that school
Or so I thought! A few days ago, she came home and told me that some of her classmates had said she had a funny looking face, that it was different.. When I asked her who had said so and why, she refused to answer and kept saying she couldn't remember.. And ever since, she has been quite fragile, she's over sensitive and has such a temper, not like her at all.. as soon as she comes home she's like a tornado SubhanAllah
Then this morning we arrived early at the school.. She went to the other side of the school, so she could put her packed lunch in the lunch hall and was gonna come back straight away... I was standing at the front of the school with the other 3 and some other parents and thought she was taking alot longer than usual, i didn't put much into it, as she's such a chatterbox and most likely had bumped into one of her friends... Then suddenly i see her coming running towards me with tears in her eyes and the headteacher was following her. She grabbed me and completely broke down, whilst the headteacher told me she had been subjected to some verbal abuse, he had taken care of it and the boy was banned from the playground.. He didn't let her speak at all and afterwards she didn't say much, other than the boy was chasing her... I didn't want to completely ruin her day, so got hold of her friend and got them chatting, aswell as her teacher said she'd have a look out for her..
It completely broke my heart to see her in that state and it has left me wondering what else is going on at school? can it be the fact that she's getting bullied again, hence taking her frustrations out on us, the rest of the family??
I'm gonna get her dad to take the other siblings somewhere, so I can have a proper one to one with her and get to the bottom of this.. She's so sensitive as it is and it has become appearant that she doesn't like her skin  colour at all :( Their dad is an Arab, whilst I'm European, so the kids are all mixed race, however my eldest is the only one who has darker skin and hair, all the others are blondes.. She has made a few remarks such as "i want to look more like you and my siblings mummy" or "why do I have to look different than you?" It's heartbreaking, but regardless how much you explain it and tell her how beautiful she is, she keeps looking down in herself..

Save the Children

We live in a very twisted world these days. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.. People's attitude towards other has also changed alot, the rich look at the poor as beggars, whilst the poor look at the rich as greedy.. But who are we to judge? We see people dying in East Africa and what do we do? just turn the blind eye? or do we try to make a change?

Since the drought began in East Africa, the stories of mothers having no choice, but to leave their children to die, I can't even imagine what does to their heart and soul! having to make that choice or choosing between which child should survive?  Absolutely heartbreaking

There is something we all can do though, please sign this petition

There are a few other things you can do to help. Your voice DOES make a difference. This WILL help save lives:

1. Make sure you sign the petition.

2. Join in with @helloitsgemma and @michelletwinmums 100 blogs 100 words challenge. (write 100 words about a health worker, be it a doctor, nurse, midwife or therapist who touched your life.)

3. Pass it on. – Link to other bloggers and get them to spread the word and sign the petition!

4. Make some noise! Tweet, post on Facebook, tell your friends and family. Basically lets give these people a voice.

So here's my 100 word challenge:

I don't think midwives get enough praise for their work. I've had some fantastic midwives over the years.

 First of all it was my community midwife, although we had our differences, she was so helpful and supportive, both with regards to the pregnancy, but also went the extra mile to support us with other issues. She also took time out to come and see us at the hospital, to see the baby and make sure we were ok. She has been there through all my 4 pregnancies and i couldn't ask for a better midwife.

And the midwives who were there during my labor and delivery, with my 2nd and 4th, were amazing too and if I ever was to have another child, then i would hope to get one of them

oh dear!

Yesterday was Ayoub's 2nd full day at school and due to me being busy at home, i called the kids' dad to pick them up. They were a bit later than usual, so asked their dad why they were late, he said it was because Ayoub had wanted ice cream (odd, he never asks for ice cream)..
He then went back to his restaurant and called me to tell me that he actually had forgotten our son at the school, he had been on his way out of the gate, when our son's teacher came up to him and asked if he hadn't forgotten something! LOL! Oh dear! At first he was confused and had asked her my son?? and then he saw Ayoub coming running! hahaha he had forgotten that his son was now in full time!

That's men for ya! lol!

Muslimahs United!

Salam Alaikum

Just want to share this site with you all. Muslimahs United is a sisters only forum, where sisters can come and learn just about everything, both islamically and in general. There is a secure verification procedure to prevent men getting access to the site and in the 4 years it's been up running, we've never had any issues, Alhamdulillah

The idea of having a sisters only forum is not new, there are plenty of them out there, but as many of us know, men have always tried to gain access and have been able to do so aswell.. So we thought we'd take the security level to a much higher level and decided to do a verification process, where we get in contact with those who want membership, over the phone or using messenger with mic and or cam.. We also allow access to those who have been referred by other members if they knew each other on a personal basis.. We also do facebook verification, but if we're not convinced that person is a female we would request to contact us in other ways.
I know this verification process might be a bit too much for some of you, but we've done it for the sake of our own security online. The sisters who have gone through the verification process have all been pleased with it as they feel they can be more open and basically let their hair down :)

We have sisters from all over the world and all walks of life MashaAllah and we've manage to bond in such a way, which isn't often apparent on other sisters forum, we are there for each other and support each other in every way possible MashaAllah, it's what sisterhood is all about!

So if you want to become a part of this wonderful forum, just click on the picture below and it should take you to our site InshaAllah! Looking forward to welcome you all (sisters that is lol)

a few funny bits

Salam Alaikum


MashaAllah kids can do and say the most funny and do the most unexpected things, which makes our job as a mum really worth while, love those moments! And having 4 kids is just bring that extra to the table lol, so thought I should share some of it with you all 


Maria at age 4:


Maria and i were throwing balls around (i've been teaching her to grab a ball properly). And at one time she threw the ball at me, it was high enough for me to head it, so i did.. then she goes "no, mamma! that's only for babba!" then i threw the ball at her asking her to head it, she goes "no mamma! my head doesn't work!"


Maria at age 2:


Maria was eating a cheese sandwich.. Then suddently she put it down and said it was too hot for her to eat (it was a cold sandwich).
Then i said to her:" i think u're lying"
Maria: "i'm not a lion! i'm a ladybird!!"


Maria at age 4:


 i woke up dh for work and ofcourse the whole army came along.. When Maria enters the room, she starts reciting Al-Fatiha (with a little bit of help) and dh's face lit up and had a big smile, whilst saying MashaAllah, MashaAllah several times. Maria got really proud of herself and said: "Babba can u teach me more Allahu Akbar (Salah)?"
and dh was ofcourse more than willing to learn her more, So they started to say Adhan together.. Maria only knows Adhan where u sing it, as she hears it on the pc all the time.. for every sentence maria says, dh goes "MashaAllah, MashaAllah, Allahu Akbar" in a typical arab tone (if i can say it like that)
then when they come to "Hayya 'alal-falaah" maria says "Hayya 'alal-falaaaafel!"  OMG! u should see dh's face     


Maria at age 5:


One day i went to the Range with the kids.. whilst i was looking and some door curtains, the girls were being very curious and looking at all the vases etc, all which can easily break if they were to touch it.. then suddently i heard a bang.. i was like oh no! then i turn around asking them if they did it, but a lady who was standing next to them said it wasn't them, but a lady at the other end of the aisle.. at the same time a member of staff came running over.. then maria goes: "it wasn't me, it was her!" but the old lady vanished behind the aisle, then maria ran over there, then she shouted to the member of staff "it wasn't me!! it was HER! it was THAT old lady!!"


Maria at age 6:


one evening, just before bedtime, i was laying on the sofa, whilst the kids were playing.. then i noticed maria went on the pc (which was in the kitchen).. then i was like  why not play a joke on her? so i grabbed my mobile and call the landline and ofcourse as usual she answered it.. So i changed my voice to a deep scruffy voice:

me: "hallooooo"
maria: "hello"
me: "what are you doing?"
maria: "playing on the computer"
me: "what are you playing?"
maria: "farmville"
me: "did u ask ur mother for permission?"
maria: "no?"
me: "then u better get of the computer"
maria: "who is this?"
me: "farmville!"
maria: "farmville?!?!?!?"

by this point i couldn't say another word, as i was laughing so much, then she comes running to me, as if she'd seen a ghost, shouting "mamma!! mamma!! farmville is on the phone!" when she saw me and then my mobile she was laughing her head of and saying in an annoyed voice "maaammmaaaa!!!! u're really naughty!!!


Dina at age 3:


Dina was vacuum cleaning the floor, whilst i quickly checked something on the PC.. she was sitting with the hose itself and vacuumed cm by cm.. then suddently she MAMMA!!! MAMMA!!! when i turned around she had vacuumed one of her lips!!  what a sight!! 


Dina at age 3:


Dina was throwing a massive tantrum, so i told her that she had to go to her room, if she hadn't calm down before i counted to 5.. I start to count really slowly and by no 2, she was half way there, by number 3 she was quiet, so i stopped counting, then she looks at me with a face like this  and says 4, 5, 6, 7! count more?!? she was sooo not happy!


Dina at age 5:


Dina just came out of her bedroom: "mamma?? can't you tell maria to be quiet?? i need my beauty sleep??" whilst she was rolling her eyes! LOL!! 


Ayoub at age 3:


Ayoub wanted Jennah to play hide and seek with him..

Ayoub: "Jennah count! then I will hide!"

She gave him her back and counted to 10.. in the meantime Ayoub hid under the dining chair, lol! she turned around and ofcourse could see him straight away... He got totally excited and shouted "Jennah??? can you find me???" she gave him a 2nd glance, shook her head, into the livingroom and sat down to play with some toys!


Ayoub at age 4:


a couple of weeks ago, i woke up with a bounce! my little man was jumping on the bed, lol at first i didn't realise it was him, so got a bit frightened  then when i looked up and saw him, i asked him, what on earth are you doing?? his reply was, i'm finished bouncing now, so let's go brush my teeth! I thought to myself what is going on in his little head? 1. he always wakes me up with a cuddle not a bounce and 2. brushing teeth has always been a major problem as he would fight me to the end to not get them brushed! anyway i got myself out of bed, tried to wake up when i got a glimse at the pc screen...  he had been watching big and small on cbeebies and had been copying small! That boy can really come up with the funniest things sometimes MashaAllah 


more to come another time InshaAllah :D

School has started

Salam Alaikum!

Gosh the past 2 weeks have flown by, SubhanAllah. Kids started back at school and with the youngest being half days for the first couple of weeks has been hard work. He didn't seem to settle in, threw tantrums all the way to and back from school. And the afternoons haven't been that great either SubhanAllah..
But on Thursday we seemed to have a break through.. It was the first day without all the morning drama and he ran into his classroom, which was brilliant to see and MashaAllah he was so calm and content when he came back home at lunch time.. Obviously i had hoped for the same on Friday, but that wasn't the case.. When i picked him up at lunch time, he was crying because he wanted to stay for lunch! lol MashaAllah.. So today hasn't been any issues at all when going to school, InshaAllah it'll be alright, he just need some time to settle in properly..
His first speech therapy assessment at school was suppose to happen last week, but because he was only in half a day and the therapist comes to the school in afternoons, then he missed that one.. InshaAllah this Wednesday he'll have his assessment. His teacher has also said she has asked someone from the children's health centre to come and have a look at him, so InshaAllah things are going in the right direction.. All I want for him is to get the right help and the support he needs and obviously get some question answered InshaAllah

This is now my first morning of being almost free, lol.. I've got no idea of what do to with myself, I think it'll take some time to adjust, but InshaAllah a set routine will be in place soon.. I will be doing a course in interior design in the near future InshaAllah and I've also decided to get back in shape! So InshaAllah when the dust has settled I'll get back on track!

I'm back!!

Salam Alaikum!

I'm back after a few CRAZY weeks! Been moving house and with alot of disappointments and being let down over and over, it's finally coming to a close Alhamdulillah! The keys will be handed over tomorrow afternoon and THEN i can focus on getting my new home in order, INshaAllah, because it's in a right state, but at least i'm getting the other property off my hands now, what a relief!
I can't wait to get to do a few bits and pieces around the house to make it all homely and cosy for me and the kids :D

Kids are starting school tomorrow.. I'm kind of nervous to be honest.. my son is starting in reception and there have been some concerns of him being "mildly" autistic, Allahu A'lim. He's seeing a speech and language therapist who will attend his class up until half term, then InshaAllah we'll get a better overview of his situation. They're also talking about getting an occupational therapist in to see him, InshaAllah.. At the moment he's refusing to go to school, he wants to go back to his nursery, SubhanAllah.. He has had loads of tantrums because he's going to school so I'm kind of dreading tomorrow.. However it might all change when we get to the school InshaAllah.. I know he's not good with changes, so I'm terrified to see how he will react to it. He might not show it at school, but we will certainly feel it at home. Ever since the move started he has been having the worst fits ever SubhanAllah, even to the point where i almost broke down in tears as i had no idea what to do.. Anyway all i can do now is to pray he'll be ok and actually will enjoy it InshaAllah

This upcoming week will be quite hectic on my side... need to get loads of stuff sorted, then on wednesday i've got a lunch with a sister and over the weekend a friend is coming down from Birmingham with her 2 kids.. Haven't seen them for 2 years, so i'm really excited MashaAllah

anyway better go, need to get the uniforms ready for tomorrow! now there are 3 sets to pull out MashaAllah, time goes too quickly!

Interpal Ramadan 2011

Salam Alaikum

If you are on facebook, then please do "like" this page, as every "like" will donate £1 to our brothers and sisters in Palestine InshaAllah and remember to spread the word InshaAllah

http://www.facebook.com/interpalramadan2011

Here's the info on their page:

We are a non-political British charity. By working with partners in Palestine, Lebanon and Jordan we aim to alleviate the suffering of the Palestinian people by providing relief and development aid to those in need.
Would you like to donate money to charity, without giving a penny?
We are Interpal, a London based charity supporting Palestinians in need, and we have stumbled upon what has to be the laziest way to donate money to charity - and what’s more it’s free!
A long-term supporter of the charity has come forward and offered to match every “Like” of the new Interpal Ramadan 2011 Facebook page with £1. But there is a deadline – the end of Ramadan!

Yes it’s true!

This means that by simply hitting “Like”, you are automatically giving £1 to Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, West Bank, Lebanon and Jordan.

The Vice Chairman of Interpal explains,

“We were surprised by the generosity of this donor, but are really grateful. Interpal strives to raise awareness about the Palestinian cause - the largest refugee crisis in the world - and Facebook is a great tool for this. Also, of course, we are hoping lots of people “Like” the new page so that we can raise funds for our work.”

The donor, who wishes to remain anonymous, states that having supported Interpal for many years, he now wants to do something more:

“I’d like to inspire others to support Interpal and the Palestinian cause. This charity is doing literally life-saving work. I’d like more people to know about it.”

So what a great way to raise awareness about the struggle of many Palestinians, encourage people to get involved and raise money!

For every person who “Likes” the Interpal Ramadan 2011 Facebook page by September 1st 2011, £1 will go directly to Palestinians. We are aiming for 200,000 supporters by September.
Yes it’s true!
This means that by simply hitting “Like”, you are automatically giving £1 to Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, West Bank, Lebanon and Jordan.
The Vice Chairman of Interpal explains,
“We were surprised by the generosity of this donor, but are really grateful. Interpal strives to raise awareness about the Palestinian cause - the largest refugee crisis in the world - and Facebook is a great tool for this. Also, of course, we are hoping lots of people “Like” the new page so that we can raise funds for our work.”
The donor, who wishes to remain anonymous, states that having supported Interpal for many years, he now wants to do something more:
“I’d like to inspire others to support Interpal and the Palestinian cause. This charity is doing literally life-saving work. I’d like more people to know about it.” 
So what a great way to raise awareness about the struggle of many Palestinians, encourage people to get involved and raise money!
For every person who “Likes” the Interpal Ramadan 2011 Facebook page by September 1st 2011, £1 will go directly to Palestinians. We are aiming for 200,000 supporters by September.

living on a budget

Salam Alaikum

Every day, in the news, we hear about spending cuts and financial crisis. It's alot more serious than many people think. So instead of going into debts, which you can't get out of and eventually you will lose everything you've got, I thought I get some tips together here.. However I'm fully aware that this might not apply for everyone, but every little penny helps :)

Food:

If you know anyone with a catering business or a corner shop, then ask them if you can go with them to the wholesalers. You can save quite alot of money by doing that. The father of my children has a restaurant, so I tend to shop in bookers.
They've got 20 kg good quality rice for £20 (4 kg for £6 in sainsbury's, basic one)
10 whole chickens for £20 (they're halal and sell for about £3-3,50 each in local halal shops)
10 kg chicken breast for £30 (also halal, and sell 500g for £4 in local halal stores)
the milk is also cheaper, £0.89 when you buy 4 (2,2 liters.. the cheapest i've seen in is in Iceland for £1)
6kg carrots for £3 (this is great if you share with some other sisters ie 2 kg pr head for £1)
24 toilet rolls for £2,50 (will look at the branded ones next time i go there)

Also local fruit and vegetable shops have lots of great deals. Much better prices and quality than the supermarket and most of it tend to be grown locally MashaAllah. They've also got homemade jams and so on. To get the best bargains go just before closing time and you'll find alot of reduced goods, which is still in very good condition MashaAllah.. this goes for the supermarkets aswell, if you go there after 6-7pm, you'll find alot of half price fruit, veg and bread mashaAllah

Another thing you could do, is to make the rule, never to buy anything at full price.. Might be a challenge but not impossible.. Stock up, everytime there is a good deal going on. Especially with dried and canned stuff that can last for long. Buy one get one free offers are great MashaAllah
Remember to look at the quantity compared with price, it's not always the bigger sizes are
Where they have loyalty cards such as tesco clubcards, nectar cards etc, use them! you can save quite alot there and get discount on utility bills aswell as other offers.
To make sure you only buy what you need, buy online, this is really effective if you're on a strict budget as you won't be tempted to dive in to everything your eye falls on (lol i tend to do this quite alot, always come home with more than i needed!)

Other Items:

For cleaning products and toiletries, try wilkinsons, poundland and savers. Always good deals on branded items

If you tend to do your shopping at the supermarket chains, look out for petrol deals.. I know sainsbury's often do 5p or 10p off petrol pr liter, depending on your spending in store.. Take advantage of this one and fill the tank, it can save you quite a bit of money

If you're looking at getting new appliances for your home, whether it's big or small, try to have a look at secondhand shops. I know this isn't ideal for many, but honestly many of the stores get appliances from big main street retailers, because there are a few dents on them or scratches, they can't be sold for their full prices.. We got a brand new freezer for the fraction of RRP, because there was a visible dent on the door. Nothing wrong with it at all, MashaAllah
Also car boot sales do have some great bargains aswell, you can even get brand new furnitures, such as tables, closets etc for next to nothing. I love car boot sales myself, as you can get anything and everything there, we went a few weeks ago and i got 4 bikes for £20! even though it's secondhand, it's a bargain!

For clothing, well this is what one prefers themselves really.. What i've done is to have 3 groups of clothing for my kids.. School clothes, nursery/play clothes and normal clothes.. School clothes, i tend to buy at Asda and Sainsbury's, but I always wait until the end of the month the term starts, as everything gets reduced to 50-75%. Then i buy in bulk in different sizes (especially for the girls, so they can be handed down, if one doesn't fit them).. Nursery/play clothes i usually buy on sales, in primark or on few occasions in charity shops or car boot sales if i find brand new items there... Then the other clothes I can allow myself to spend a bit more on and will buy at H&M, Next etc, but won't fill their wardrobe there though and majority of the items i will buy on sales.
With charity shops it can be quite tricky as to find the ones that do have good quality clothes. But keep looking around, you might just find one that suits your needs InshaAllah.
For outerwear, especially for the winter, I always buy good quality ones, they last longer and are much warmer. Try some of the outdoor shops. They're jackets/coats are fantastic value and can last a decade. My mum sent me coats for my 2 eldest daughters last Eid. They've practically been wearing them almost every day at school and they still look new MashaAllah. they're wind and waterproof, aswell as warm.
Footwear for winter i bought from next, found some really warm boots for all of them at next, for £15 each and they lasted the whole winter.


You can reduce your utility bills buy limiting the use of major appliances, such as dishwasher and tumble dryer. Also do laundry during evenings, will save you quite a bit aswell. Switch off all electrical goods, not only will you save electricity, but you'll make your home safer.
During winter times, you can save money on fuel bills by dressing warmer. Get some fleece or woollen items like cardigans, socks etc they're great for those cold months. I've found some thermal socks in cherry's buy for £1 each, they're really warm and comfy, even after several washes they're still in good shape. Use fleece blankets aswell, will keep the kids nice and warm throughout the night, you can get them for £5 each at primark. I usually put one under them and if it's really cold one on top aswell.
Put the heating on during the night and it should keep the house warm throughout the day inshaAllah.
also alot of energy suppliers will give you a reader (can't remember what it's called now) which you can see where you're usage is going and even give money back for any savings you made, usually done buy giving discount on the next bill.

And when it comes to savings on your luxuries ie tv packages or mobile phones etc... shop around, then when you've find a great deal, call your current provider and ask for a discount or you'll leave, in most cases they'll give you an equally good or even better deal (especially if you pay your bills on time). They want to keep good customers, so it's always worth a try, especially if you go to the cancellation department, as they've got better offers than the normal customer service :)
This also applies for when you buy bigger items, try to see if you can squeeze a bargain out of them, especially if you're going to spend quite alot of money... This isn't for everyone, but some people do have the gift of getting great bargains.. Be confident, play sellers up against each other, get them to throw extras in and ask for their best price, then offer a lower price and start negotiating, good luck!

Right that's what i can think of at the moment, might come back with more at a later stage..

Here some websites, that can give you great savings InshaAllah

http://womenfreebies.co.uk/

this site gives you free samples of various items, competitions etc. I recently got free pantene shampoo and conditioner and some skin care products, have a look InshaAllah

http://www.groupon.co.uk
http://www.kgbdeals.co.uk

these 2 sites are brilliant! you get heavily discounted prices on various of things ie restaurants, leisure, events, holidays, beauty treatments and much more, there can be a savings of up to 70%, so definitely worth signing up for

http://www.fragrancedirect.co.uk

Here you find great deals on fragrances and skincare products. They've always have some sort of offers running and usually at a bargain price compared to RRP

http://www.supersavvyme.co.uk/home.aspx

this site has various of offers, money off vouchers, competitions, advice etc, love to browse this site

http://www.mysupermarket.co.uk/

Here you can compare the prices of most supermarket chains, really handy to have

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/

is a fantastic site on how and where to save money, aswell as product reviews, scam deals etc, love it and use it quite frequently

2 weeks to go!

It's 2 weeks until I move house! I'm soooo excited! I've been wanting to get out of this neighbourhood for years and every time i've attempted to get out, something happens and my move vanishes into thin air!
But this time, InshaAllah it will happen. I've handed in my notice on this place so I better get those keys lol! The new landlord seems to be really lovely mashaAllah. He's currently doing some work on the house but has promised us the key before the 1. September, so we can move and get settled before Eid and school start inshaAllah.

My current home is packed with boxes, bags and God knows what else, lol it has turned into a maze! I never realised how much stuff we actually have.. Plus a Kuwaiti family just moved back to their country and left all their household stuff with us, so got a massive arabic sofa that doesn't even fit into my living room and lots of other furnitures and not to mention all the appliances that came along.. I haven't even been able to look at them all, but I'm pretty sure there's almost every machine you can use in a kitchen mashaAllah.
Got a fridge-freezer aswell, which is packed with all sorts of spices, lol, it definitely shows they're arabs because they've bought everything in boxes and cartons MashaAllah

Our next home is a bit bigger than the one we have at the moment, but no garden as such. There's concrete at the front and the courtyard is pretty much the same.. But it's alright as i'm not much of a garden person anyway, beside there's a lovely park just across the road, mashaAllah.
It's in a great location. The school is 5 mins walk away, the same goes for the islamic centre and nursery. There are halal shops and city centre within walking distance and a retail park only a couple of mins away. Also easy access to the highway,  which is great! Oh and not to forget I've cut my journey up to a dear sister by 15-20 mins (depending on traffic)

Anyway I'm gonna take pictures as soon as i get the key and InshaAllah post some here.. I'm planning to do the kids' bedrooms up, something quite cool InshaAllah, so there will be pictures coming up as i get on with things :D

right, it's getting late now, better go to sleep and dream about getting that key lol